Here's the plan: gather around you as many smart, articulate, big-hearted, open-minded friends as you can. Keep adding to the collection, and don't forget to take care of each other. That's the plan.
This morning I read posts from two such friends. Their words might turn on a light for you. Or remind you of a light you left burning, but have forgotten about...
SO, it's been on my mind to acknowledge this for a while now. There is a young actor in our show here at Players. Not even 10. On our one and only preview night, he had a panic attack prior to the show. A BAD one. Threw up three times and cried like a newborn. I seriously doubted we'd be able to do the show that night with him in that state. But he went on that night and did beautifully... and has every night since. He's poised, polite, mature, and Knows. His. Shit. I love seeing the back stage reactions of the adult actors every time he gets his big laughs when we are not on stage with him. I learn about this thing I've chosen as a career with every experience I have. And from this young man I am learning about how to bring 100% of myself to the performance every time. And on a grander scale, how to overcome my fears and apprehensions and just dive in and swim around in this insane, wonderful thing called life. I love the inspiration I continually find in unexpected places. This time, through the bravery of a scared child. I say bravery, yes. Getting up and doing what we do is brave. It's vulnerable. It's downright naked every time. It's good to remember that, acknowledge it, and USE it to the best of our ability. This kid inspires me. So does the rest of this cast. So does the acting community at large. Are we curing cancer? Not a chance. But are we doing good? Absolutely. And are we brave? You try doing something that terrifies you so much, you throw up three times before you can even attempt it. Yup, that's brave. May I never stop learning from the examples of others.... ♥
My older nephew Joshua, aged two and three-quarters, has had a difficult week. he is the baby of his little family, the prince of his household, and he showed up to this vacation to discover that there are two new family babies who have captured the fascination and affection of everyone who has always treated him as the favorite until now.
what a deeply terrifying thing.
tonight i saw Joshua sitting on the floor looking empty and bored. then he stood up and took a couple steps toward the kitchen where my brothers were sitting and sharing a conversation. he stood and watched my brothers, one of them his own father and the other one his uncle who recently became the father of the new favorite. he looked and looked, his face blank. then suddenly his face broke into an excited smile and his feet jumped a bit. he walked over to the chair next to his uncle and sat down.
"Uncle Stephen!"
"Yes, Joshua?"
"You..... you... you're... you... you're wearing socks!"
"I am! I'm wearing socks."
a few seconds of silence pass. Joshua stands up and walks away. he ends up back where his sister is stationed working on a puzzle and he goes about looking for the right place to hit the puzzle to dislodge some of the pieces.
i say it always. it's so difficult to be a person. the excitement that hit him when he realized that he could mention the socks, all disguises removed, it's really no different from the moment a teenager or someone perhaps older thinks of something to say in a text message to someone whose attention he craves — or if not a text message then something else that will be invented in the next fifteen years or so — or it's like, say, the moment a person on a social networking site thinks of something to write that might garner a few indications of being Well-Liked, a few strokes to the Willy Loman in [all of us?] [those who fell wrong in the birth order?] [some people] some people.
it's difficult to be a person.
i am curious about the future of the other puzzle pieces.
click anything you want, or click nothing. most of us are all mostly free [sometimes true or often true]. we're neither pure nor wise nor good. we'll do the best we know. yadda yadda. you see what i'm saying. not much. i do love that kid though. and his frantic search to remain the center of attention has made him remarkably funny. that's all. i'll miss him after tomorrow. very glad i got to see him.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 2:03PM 
